When we’re hit with an accusation, our first response is usually defensive. It doesn’t matter what it is, we deny it first and then we might think about it later. When I was a young mother, a sister in the Lord said to me on the phone one day, “You’re a perfectionist, Marj. Everything has to be perfect; even your kids.” I denied that one in a hurry. “No, I’m not. That’s not true.” “Oh, yes,” she said. “It is true.”
I didn’t want to hear that. But as a believer with a desire to grow spiritually, I thought about it later and I decided to take it to the Lord in prayer. I did not want to hear God tell me that she was right, but I genuinely desired to know the truth. And worse than knowing the truth was continuing to live in self deception. So I earnestly prayed about it, and I listened for God’s still small voice. And God told me the very thing I didn’t want to hear. He said, “She’s right, Marj.” Ugh! God didn’t tell me how to fix the problem. He just confirmed that there was a problem. Well, to me, the logical way to correct it was to make a conscious effort to relax my standards and let my children be children. So that’s what I did.
Then one day not many weeks later, another friend leveled an accusation at me. “You’re self-centered, Marj. You think of no one but yourself.” Now, I had a hard time with that one because that accusation seemed to contradict my nature. After all, I’m a person who helps total strangers. But after God confirmed my perfectionistic nature, I was a little reluctant to blurt out a denial and have to eat my words again. So I said, “I don’t think I am, but I’ll definitely talk to God about it.” And I did. Once again, I went to the Lord in earnest prayer. “Lord, someone accused me of being self centered. Is there any truth in that; because I can’t see it. But if it’s true, I definitely need to change.” And I listened for God’s still small voice. “No, Marj. There’s no truth in it.” With God’s confirmation, I promptly dismissed her words of condemnation from my mind. Guess what? That meant that the devil couldn’t use her lie against me. I gave him no foothold regarding either accusation because I had taken them both directly to the Lord and I listened to what He had to say.
When an accusation flies your direction, do you give the devil a foothold by either denying it or dwelling on it? The best way to handle an accusation is to deal with it. Take it directly to the Lord. He’ll tell you the truth, and you’ll know where to go from there.