My daughter, Michelle, could be an incredible challenge. She had graduated high school, but with her disability she wasn’t working, so she was home all the time. And she was becoming increasingly difficult to watch. She needed a good amount of supervision because she frequently sought a way to get admitted to the hospital. She always managed to get the police or fire department to our house, and she knew just what to say to manipulate them into transporting her down to UC hospital. Despite my best efforts, she always knew how to get around me.
One day, I got a phone call from Barb, Zach’s grandma (See my last blog “In Memory of Zach.”) Barb wanted to talk to me about something and she asked me to come over. The first chance I had, I stopped by her house. She had a favor to ask. Her husband, Jim, was in the final stages of cancer and she didn’t want to leave him home alone for any length of time. But she desperately needed to get out of the house some and wanted to return to work, in addition to needing the money. Barb worked at a local elementary school in the latch-key program before and after school. She wanted to know if I would be willing to stay with Jim so she could go to work. She was looking for two people. One to stay with him in the mornings from 5:45 to 9:00 a.m. every school day or from 3:00 to 6:15 p.m. three days a week.
Because of my challenges with Michelle, a request like that had the power to instantly sap my energy. All I could think of was Great. That’s all I need. One more thing to do. I was exhausted just trying to keep tabs on Michelle, and I knew that Barb had no idea what I was dealing with at home. I asked her how long she would need me. She said, “The doctor has given Jim four to six months to live. So it could be as long as six months.”
In light of the fact that Michelle was getting progressively more difficult to take care of every day, I couldn’t see making a six-month commitment. I didn’t know what would happen with Michelle in six months. I said, “Barb, I’m sorry, but to be honest, I don’t see any way that I can do that right now. I can barely keep up with Michelle.”
But Barb was as desperate to find someone reliable to stay with Jim as I was in the continual care of my daughter, so she asked me again, and again I told her no. Then she said, “Pray about it, Marj. Will you do that for me? Will you at least pray about it?” Now, that I could do, so I agreed to pray about it.
Only God knew what I was going through with Michelle, and I felt certain that He would agree that taking on this added responsibility was more than I could handle right now. So I went to Him in prayer, and for the next couple of days I prayed earnestly about it. To my surprise, the Lord laid her request on my heart, and I knew that He wanted me to stay with Jim so she could go back to work. In the short time that I took to pray about it, God changed my heart so completely that I could hardly wait to call her back and tell her that I would do it. I knew that I might be committing myself for six-months, but I volunteered for the early morning shift. Since Michelle usually slept until about 11:00 a.m., I would be home long before she woke up. So that time frame worked well for me.
Barb couldn’t believe it. She expected to have difficulty finding someone to come that early, but she had no trouble arranging for a friend to stay with Jim in the afternoon. Barb didn’t need me right away. I started about two weeks later. Leaving Michelle home asleep, I packed up my laptop and drove to her house very early on Monday morning. Jim was still in bed, and he slept the entire time. When Barb got home, I left. But I was back the next morning at the same time with my laptop. That was the last time I stayed with him. I never went back. Tuesday evening I received a phone call that Jim had fallen and he’d been admitted to hospice. He passed away on Thursday.
When I learned that, I was overcome with a sense of gratitude to the Lord. God had given me one opportunity to minister to them in this way, and like a flash, it was gone. I was so thankful that God directed me to meet Barb’s need and that I responded promptly to His leading. And yet, six short months later, my challenge with Michelle had escalated to the point that I couldn’t let her out of my sight for a second. (Sleep had become a precious commodity.) I was prepared for a six-month commitment, but God knew that Barb would only need my services for a couple of days.